


Known Goobers of the MCU

by newredshoes



Category: Captain America (Movies) RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Astronomy, During Filming, Gen, Press Tour, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7742701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newredshoes/pseuds/newredshoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collecting MCU RPF drabbles from DW and Tumblr: Sebastian is a werewolf and Mackie can't stop mocking him about it; Sebastian gets incredibly awkward around Robert Redford; Sebastian and Chris escape Cleveland to go nerd out about astronomy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Wiener Werewolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2014-05-27  
> adiva_calandia: Press junkets with Anthony Mackie where Anthony Mackie endlessly makes fun of Sebastian Stan’s lycanthropy? >.>

**INT: I've been advised by Chris Evans--**

SS: Uh-oh.

**INT: To ask about work and play with Sebastian.**

AM: He told you that?

**INT: Apparently you guys know what that means.**

SS: ( _groaning_ )

AM: First off, I want to make it clear that I have every respect for my man here. If you saw how much chicken he has to eat to get built compared to the rest of us, you would be awe-struck. IN AWE. How many was it again, every day?

SS: I don't want to talk about it.

AM: But it paid off, though, am I right?

SS: If Marvel thinks so, I'm happy. And the fans, of course.

AM: Of course, of course. But let me tell you something, I have fought this guy. Evans has fought this guy. You saw the movie, right?

**INT: The fight scenes are righteous.**

AM: You ever been punched by a werewolf? Have you? Man, you do not know your own strength.

SS: ( _shrugs_ ) I ate a lot of chicken.

AM: Tore a lot of chickens limb from limb with your bare hands and big fangs.

SS: Sure, that too.

AM: Were you always like that? Like, even on _Gossip Girl_? Did they keep live chickens on set for you to massacre when you got bored?

SS: Okay, we can talk about this, or we can talk about _Gossip Girl_ , but I'm only putting up with one.

AM: He is terrible to train with. Dude doesn't get tired, though he does complains a lot.

SS: Only about working with you.

AM: But you know what's worse? This man has literally never had a hangover in his life.

SS: Okay, now that is not true--

AM: Hang on, hang on--

SS: Wait, you're not -- oh my God! ( _laughing_ )

AM ( _showing iPhone_ ): You see this? Can you see this? Evans and I could barely walk because we'd been filming fight scenes all day, but it was somebody's _birthday_ , so we thought we'd be good guys about it.

_Image: Blurry nighttime selfie with AM, SS (as werewolf, wearing sunglasses) and CE, outside a club_

SS: That's not why I don't get hungover.

AM: Because you don't drink on the full moon.

SS: I mean, that helps.

AM: You're a nightmare.

SS: I made breakfast in the morning! What do you want from me?

AM: I guess we should have made you breakfast in the morning.

SS: It was my birthday.

AM: What did you think those chickens in your bedroom were for?

SS: A prank!

AM: It was very _West Wing_ of me.

SS ( _to camera_ ): I'm a peach to work with. Don't listen to any of this.

AM: You are, Sebastian.

SS: Thank you, Anthony.

AM: Please accept this steer's haunch as a token of my admiration for you and your work.

SS: Oh boy, a bone!


	2. Meeting Redford, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2014-05-26  
> theladyscribe: Seb Stan embarrassing himself in front of Robert Redford. Repeatedly.

The first time Sebastian sees Robert Redford in person, he makes the mistake of looking at him head on, rather than glimpsed furtively from the corner of your eye, as is proper. He's been in the reception area at the Marvel offices for twenty minutes, waiting for his appointment with Kevin and the writers for which he was absurdly early. Of course he spends his time playing Candy Crush on his phone, and of course he's near a new high score when he notices the door open.

They don't lock eyes or anything, but Sebastian has to reassure himself that that's actually Redford walking toward the receptionist, because once you spot that jawline, that hair, that face, you can't pretend that you're not in its presence. And it's not that he panics. (He panics a little, okay.) He mostly sits very still and tries to look like he's focusing on his game (which is not stupid, _oh fuck, it's so stupid_ ), but steals glances at the receptionist realizing who's greeting her and offering him whatever he wants while he waits. Redford is charming and polite and charming and _right there_. Sebastian can't decide whether he wants to sit up straighter or slouch until he can't be seen anymore.

The thing about Robert Redford is he doesn't just walk anywhere, even to a chair in an empty corner of the waiting area. He strolls, like he has every goddamn right to. Sebastian suddenly realizes how much of an asshole he looks like with his nose in a phone, his thumbs pounding on a stupid glass screen, so even though he's close to high score territory, he shuts the phone off and slips it, super surreptitiously (in scare quotes), into his jacket. 

Now, of course, he has nothing to do while sitting in a waiting area at Marvel HQ with Robert Redford. He could walk over and introduce himself; they have a couple of scenes together, after all. And he just looks like more of an asshole for not just being cool about it, since they're colleagues or castmates or whatever. But Robert Redford is sitting over there flipping through an old issue of _The New Yorker_ , and shit, maybe you just need to respect his space or something, right? What are the protocols for interacting with actual legends again?

"Mr. Stan?" His head snaps up at the receptionist's much more professional and less awestruck tone. She's cute when she smiles. "Mr. Feige will see you now."

"Great. Great. Thanks." He reaches for his messenger bag, which is totally full of notes and trades and whatever other shit he hauls around with him from day to day, and which is also stuffed somewhere in the hidden dimension under this row of chairs that makes it impossible to just gracefully pull out and walk like a normal human being into your meeting.

Redford's watching. He's watching over the top of his _New Yorker_ , but he's watching.

"Hey," says Sebastian, with the dopiest grin in his arsenal, because now they're making eye contact, and it will be weirder later if he doesn't. "Hi. We should — hi, I'm Sebastian."

Robert. Redford. Smiles. At. Him. "You're the bad guy!" he says, and holds out his hand. "Well, we both are. I'm Bob."

"Yeah! We are. Sort of. Nice to." HE'S SHAKING ROBERT REDFORD'S HAND. "I gotta go. Meet with them about that, actually."

Robert Redford nods knowingly. "I look forward to talking about it," he says, and Sebastian turns on one heel and follows the receptionist back into the office maze, making faces to himself.

 _MET REDFORD,_ he texts to Chris in the parking lot.

 _oh shit dude,_ Chris texts back at once. _how was he?_

Sebastian reenacts the whole encounter in his head in excruciating detail from every angle before replying. _GOOD LUCK. I WAS NOT COOL._


	3. Meeting Redford, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a true story: http://stevemcqueened.tumblr.com/post/82762186454

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2014-06-27  
> theladyscribe: I'd like a continuation of SebStan embarrassing himself in front of Robert Redford. Or in front of anyone, really.

Okay, there's a list of people Sebastian has worked with and it's turned out great, all right? Sigourney Weaver, Ian McShane, Ellen Burstyn, Natalie Portman, all those actors turned out to be actual people he could get along with like human beings.

He still can't get himself to call Robert Redford "Bob" like Robert Redford has insisted he should.

Also, he can't stop calling him Robert Redford, in full, every time he thinks about him. Chris, because he's an asshole, only refers to him as "living legend and trusted scene partner Robert Redford" to Sebastian.

"Fuck you, man," he says, with more nerves than heat. "You don't have to do a shirtless backhanding scene with him."

"I'm sure he'll be nothing but gentle and professional," Chris says angelically. (Soon after, Sebastian finds Post-Its all over his trailer that just say BE GENTLE WITH ME.)

Ostensibly, the first scene, the one in the kitchen, should be easy. Literally all Sebastian has to do is sit there at his mark and let the cinematographer do his thing. The whole crew is humming with easygoing late-night energy. Screen royalty Robert Redford is in his PJs, for pete's sake.

"How you doing?" he says when he spots Sebastian, idling near the fridge only because no one's told him to be somewhere else, and because he's vaguely thirsty and also because it seems out of the way.

_My arm is covered in lube,_ he thinks. "Dandy," he says, with probably a too-big smile.

"Fellas," says Joe, squeezing by with a plastic shopping bag in hand.

"What do you got?" Robert Redford asks.

"Our obligatory sight gag," says Joe, who reveals a bottle of Newman's Own and waggles it. ROBERT REDFORD laughs.

_You've probably got all kinds of Paul Newman stories,_ Sebastian thinks. _Hey, not to be weird or anything, but he's kind of a big idol of mine, and the press made a big deal about me being like him, in a totally weird way but also in that way where you'd not going to tell them no, and then I did this photoshoot for Picnic, did you know that I did... that part...? Anyway, wow, Paul Newman, am I at all like Paul Newman? Wait, no, that's weird, I'm not asking that._

"We're going to block it first," says Joe, after he's shut the refrigerator door. He points. "Your seat's over there. Bob, go talk to Anthony for your mark, please?"

"Sure, sure." ROBERT REDFORD ambles off in his PJs. Sebastian watches him start to flirt with the actress who plays Renata. There are still too many people next to the island for Sebastian to get to where he needs to go yet, at least in the quickest way possible. He turns.

**THWUNGK.**

"Whoa!" Joe shouts.

Sebastian staggers back. His arm is ringing.

"Did you dent my fridge?" ROBERT REDFORD calls, grinning his rakish grin with his rakish hair, still rakish and charming even in his seventies.

_Internal glitch._

"Shit, shit, I'm sorry! Oh my god, what."

Sebastian leans closer to inspect the door. It's somebody's house, it's a private home, you can't just leave a mess after an accident.

"Don't worry about it," says Joe. "Come on, let's get started."

"There might be lube," Sebastian mutters. "There -- might be lube on the fridge."

It's really a good thing he just has to sit there and look menacing, even if his heart is clanging underneath his armor and he keeps glancing at the fridge for scratches or smears. ROBERT REDFORD looks at him like he's frightened of him, like he's a threat, like he's taken aback to see him sitting there, something actually terrifying disrupting this beautiful space.

In between takes, ROBERT REDFORD leans forward on one elbow. "How do they get that thing on you?"

_How am I having this conversation with you?_ Sebastian thinks.

"How much lube are you comfortable talking about?" is what comes out of his mouth.

ROBERT REDFORD chuckles. "Surprise me."

BE GENTLE WITH ME, Sebastian's hindbrain screams.


	4. Star Nerds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2014-06-27  
> theladyscribe: Chris Evans: Astronomy Nerd, and his partner in crime, Sebastian Stan. Geeking out over the universe, one astronomical event at a time. (source: http://theladyscribe.tumblr.com/post/84926991372/magpieandwhale-lorelailorelai-chris-evans-is)

"Last chance," Chris sing-songs. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Nah, man, I'm sleeping. S-L-E-E-P-I-N-G," Anthony adds, in case he hadn't made himself clear.

Sebastian shrugs. "It's Perseids, man. Your loss."

"Look, we already went to the science museum before the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. I've done my time with you nerds."

Sebastian jangles the rental car's keys. "The House That Rock Built was pretty good too."

"Yes, but meteors." Chris claps him on the shoulder. "Come on, we don't want to get stuck in traffic."

They do get stuck in traffic, but it's Science Friday on NPR, so they listen to three straight hours of special features on the Mars Rover before a blessed, rebellious break in their regimens of boiled chicken and gym time in favor of a roadside Arby's. The girl at the register stares from one to the other, especially because Sebastian's hair is still camera-quality grimy, but doesn't say anything.

"We should keep driving," Sebastian says, sucking down an orange soda. "There's a big amusement park near here, right?"

"Cedar Point," says Chris, who keeps driving. "We went there last summer."

Sebastian smirks. "'We' being 'the Avengers'?"

"And Tom."

"That makes me feel better." He eats his fries in handfuls, four at a time. Then: "Did you see that documentary on Netflix--?"

"Do you watch anything else?"

"No, this one was really good. It was about Cahokia and Chaco Canyon."

"You're not talking about _Ancient Aliens_ , are you?"

Sebastian snorts. "Give me a little credit."

"All right, college graduate."

Chris read about this spot online somewhere, and clearly other folks did too. There are a handful of other cars already on the rise, people with blankets and beer. Lake Erie spreads out in front of them, still and black. Sebastian noisily cracks his back before he hops out, while Chris teases him about doing a Renner stretch.

Having very pointedly not smoked in the car or during their rest stop, Sebastian lights up whatever pungent brand he smokes and Chris, who has never quit quite as much as he'd like, bums a cigarette, which they both contemplate as they crane their necks. "Take that, light pollution," Sebastian says to the spray of stars overhead.

He's not thinking about work, because Cap is his job and they fled to get away for a night, but he does think about how people don't do this much anymore, how few people just take an evening and look up and think about what's up there. Someone gasps off in the darkness when the first light scratches the black vault. "Oh boy," he hears Sebastian murmur as the meteors start in earnest.

"We could be at a club right now," Chris says, and Sebastian snorts.

"Yup," he says, and the two of them sit where they are.


End file.
